I'm Just Sayin'

I have a little story about Elvis Presley and Richard Nixon. Most folks in my age bracket know the story, or at least know about the story... it's simply the account of their meeting, Elvis and Nixon, in December of 1970. The meeting was one of those surreal episodes of history that happened in the creases of reality. Two partially deranged men met in the Oval Office and had polite chit chat.       

Here's how it all came about. Elvis had a fascination with guns and he had a fascination with law enforcement.  Maybe it's because law enforcement guys carry guns. By 1970, Elvis's world had become all shook up. The changing nature of popular music had Elvis confused and starting to become bitter. His command of the scene, so to speak, was eroding and he had now been popping Dr Feelgood pills for over 10 years and in increasing amounts and combinations. He'd been putting up with the Beatles for 6 or 7 years and he hated the Beatles. He hated that they were the new dominators of popular music. I can't even take a wild stab at the thought process that gave Elvis the scheme to meet the President. How he cooked up this plan....we'll never know, but it was a successful plan...almost.

Elvis hopped on an American Airlines flight to Washington, got a pen and some American Airlines stationary (a note pad) and wrote the President of the United States of America a letter asking to meet with him... Elvis had a plan to "straighten out America". Elvis asked the President, in the letter, to appoint him to some sort of FBI position or give him a U.S. Government "special agent at large" status. With these "federal credentials", Elvis would be able to infiltrate the hippie movement and pass information about the drug culture to the feds. By performing this service, Elvis would be showing his appreciation and love for his country.  Are you getting this? Oh hell...let me copy and paste the letter:

Dear Mr. President

First I would like to introduce myself. I am Elvis Presley and admire you and Have Great Respect for your office. I talked to Vice President Agnew in Palm Springs a week ago and expressed my concern for our country. The Drug Culture, The Hippie Elements, the SDS, Black Panthers, etc do not consider me as their enemy or as they call it The Establishment. I call it America and I Love it. Sir I can and will be of any Service that I can to help the country out. I have no concerns or motives other than helping the country out. So I wish not to be
given a title or an appointed position, I can and will do more good if I were made a Federal Agent at Large, and I will help out by doing it my way through my communications with people of all ages. First and Foremost I am an entertainer but all I need is the Federal credentials. I am on the Plane with Sen. George Murphy and We have been discussing the problems that our country is faced with. Sir I am Staying at the Washington hotel Room 505-506-507. I have 2 men who work with me by the name of Jerry Schilling and Sonny West. I am registered under the name of Jon Burrows. I will be here for as long as it takes to get the credentials of a Federal Agent. I have done in depth study of Drug Abuse and Communist Brainwashing Techniques and I am right in the middle of the whole thing, where I can and will do the most good. I am Glad to help just so long as it is kept very Private. You can have your staff or whomever call me anytime today tonight or Tomorrow. I was nominated the coming year one of America's Ten Most outstanding young men. That will be in January 18 in my Home Town of Memphis Tenn. I am sending you the short autobiography about myself so you can better understand this approach. I would love to meet you just to say hello if you're not too busy.

Respectfully,
Elvis Presley

P.S. I believe that you Sir were one of the Top Ten Outstanding Men of America also.

I have a personal gift for you also which I would like to present to you and you can accept it or I will keep it for you until you can take it.

Remember, this is a copy of a transcription of Elvis's letter...he wrote the president on 6 pages of airline note pad. So...E  gets to Washington, personally delivers the letter to the front gate of the White House. The letter went through channels...sort of.. to White House aide Dwight Chapman who sends a memo to H R Haldeman suggesting that the President meet with Elvis. Chapman felt that Elvis could help Nixon meet "bright young people" outside the government and could help the President with the war on drugs. Haldeman thought the whole idea was a farce but the meeting was scheduled.

Well, on December 21, 1970, the two met and had pictures taken...Elvis gave Nixon a  gun...I'm not kiddin'...men used to give other men guns as a great sign of respect and trust. Only recently has this practice fallen out of favor.  So The King and Nixon chatted and The King asked to be made a government agent. Elvis also mentioned that he was studying Communist brainwashing and the drug culture. This would help him be of aide to his country. Then the meeting was over. All too soon for Elvis I'll bet. Nixon never made Elvis a special agent.

Nixon was forced to resign as President  3 yeas later...Elvis was dead, of a drug overdose, 6 years later. 

Nixon was a dickhead. Elvis was a simple minded country boy, full of good intent but overwhelmed by the temptations of almost unlimited whim and fancy.  I'm glad they had their little chat.